Remember Me

I don't even know where to begin with this entry.

I am so proud of you Rob.
There are no words to describe the immensity
Of my love
Of my respect
Of my gratitude.

You were phenomenal.
You were amazing.

I was blessed with the opportunity to see the movie last night
In London.

I walked the Red Carpet.
And I saw you there.
So incredibly happy.
So good to your fans.
simply awesome

Everything in me wanted to reach out and hold you there.
But it wasn't allowed.
You had work to do.
And I had a movie to see.

I wanted to go out to see it again this morning.
Silly me, it's not officially open yet, I have to wait.
And I don't want to wait.
I need to see it again
You would probably laugh at me if you knew that.
And I'd cry each time.
Not just for the storyline.

But for the fact that you have come so far.
You have become what you hoped to be.
You take your career to heart.

And it shows.

And you made me realize that whatever life throws at you.
Live it.
Live in the moment.
Take every second seriously.

I realize that now.
I intend to now.
I intend to break the rules.
I intend to experience life.
I intend to enjoy it.

With the one I love.
I won't let anything get in the way again.
I'm ready.

Thank you for showing me that.

Us vs. Them

I wonder why we are at odds
with the world?

Why is it so important
to know it all?

Pepsi or Coke
Black or Plaid
Briefs or boxers
Maybe or maybe not

Why is is so important
To lose that private part?

Everything you do
Everything you say
Everything

Its us versus them

And I want you to myself.
Some things are only ours
That smile, that look, that understanding
Some things are just ours

My Angel

You give me so much even when I have nothing to give
You are so special to me
How am I so worthy of you
My Angel

Every Day
You are what makes me to get up
Every day is a good day
With My Angel

Your smile brightens my heart
Your Eyes warm me with your love
Your arms envelope me with your soul
My Angel

I am in heaven
With My Angel

Struggle to Stand

On trembling legs
I struggle to stand
To show you I can be
Everything
Even when there is Nothing

With knocking knees
I struggle to step
To prove to everyone
That I can rebuild
Even when it is rubble at my feet

With hammering heart
I struggle to hope
That you will see
I am yours
Even if the world
pushes me away

You are My Joy

I awaken to love
A message sent from across the sea
Full of love

How do you do that?
with all that is going on?
You find that moment to make
Everything ok.

I have been struggling.
Without you
Maybe it's this city
Maybe it's the flu
Maybe it's that you are not here
With me

But one little message
One smile
And I feel whole again
You are the other half
Without you it is rough

How am I so lucky?
After it all?
After the goodbyes and the hurt
And this city?

I feel whole
When we are together
Home soon
and then together again.

Is It a Dream?

I woke up this morning in a cold sweat
In my old bed

Heart hammering
Skin cold
Tearful

Was it a dream?

Are my feelings matched?
I feel them from you.
They warm me.

But will it fade?
I am scared, being far from the warmth
That I will lose that
My body hurts
Wracked with fear
That it may end

Just a dream...
Then don't wake me
I want to linger in that dreamlike state
of Love and Acceptance
Not in any cruel cold light of day.

Don't wake me.

Costume Makes the Man

I am looking at pictures of you from Bel Ami
Someone emailed it to me
Naughty

What is it about period costumes that inspires?
It's pure costuming genius that taunts us
The clothes make the man.

hmmm.
I can agree to that.
Top hat and tails
A hint of suspenders.
Tailored pants that hug perfectly.

Costuming genius.
You are sure.
You are cocky.
You are refined.

I am wondering
What about the walking stick.
There is an entire post just there.

Costuming genius.

Sometimes I Wonder

Distant
Thoughtful
Quiet
Exhausted

I wonder sometimes
Will you grow distant?
Thoughtful of what could have been?
Quiet in your thoughts of me?
Exhausted from the drama?

I fear maybe one day you will.
You have been distant these last few days
Stress I know.
But I wonder
If one day

I wonder
Sometimes

Is It Too Much

Is it Too Much
To want to give you all

Is It Too Much
That I fear I can't give enough

Is It Too Much
That I want everything to go right

Is It Too Much
To say it hurts sometimes

Is It Too Much
To say I will, even if it hurts to

Is It Too Much
To tell you you have changed me for better

Is It Too Much
To love you forever

Why So Nervous?

I want to throttle you sometimes
You surprise me
With things that I fear
But you do it so well
I forgive you.

You withdraw
And I want to yell
I can take it!
Share with me.
And then you do.
And we are fine again.

There are times I want to hold you
And tell you
It will be all right.
We'll get through this.
We can do anything
Together.

And then you hold me.
And the world is fine again.
We are fine.
We are one.
And I won't let you go.

Amaze Me

You continually amaze me
With every word
Every thought
Every...thing

You amaze me
Best days of my life are filled with you

A smile
A laugh
A word

And I am happy.
You make me happy.

I am so lucky.
People can go their entire lives and not experience
A moment

Like all the moments
I have with you.
Good and bad.
They are cherished
And I won't let them go.

Little Ashes

Little Ashes today.

I've seen it before.
But I see it in a new light
Each time I see it again.

A new quirk
Something I thought at first to be awkward manipulation
Turns into a subtle character trait.

Every time I see it
Tuck and all.

I see something new.